My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
