I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
