I think my vagina is haunted
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
