is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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