Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
