Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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