I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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