i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
