WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
