You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
