In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
