Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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