omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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