i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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