I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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