whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
