just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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