Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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