i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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