I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
