You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I skipped work to stalk him.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
