How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
