Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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