Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize