For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
