I'm going to jail i love you
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
