I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
