They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
