shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My vagina is officially offended.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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