Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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