Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
