Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Congratulations! We have a period
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