I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I bet he comes in French.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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