hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
