I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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