Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
