i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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