We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
