I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
