if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
