you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
