honey bunches of taint.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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