Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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