So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize