Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
