PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize