When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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