I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
