I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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