Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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