Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
