I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
