Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
