Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
