He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
