She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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