he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
