I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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