His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize