Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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