im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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