i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
