One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
